Wednesday, August 10, 2011

2:35 am rant

I have been thinking about passion for the past few days, it started yesterday when I was discussing the Bill Cunningham documentary with some friends.  If you have seen the movie you will understand how passionate the guy is about his work, he is a fashion street photographer in New York who literally eats, drinks and breaths his work, I mean the guys entire home is covered floor to ceiling with filing cabinets full of film.  He is extremely passionate about what he does, not just passionate but obsessive.  When I watched the film a while back I remember being jealous that he had so much devotion to one thing and just did it all the time, day and night.  I have been thinking about the things i am passionate about... if it is even passion, if I know what passion is.  I sat down and wrote a list of all the things that I feel like I might be passionate about, many of them are temporary, like my Mad Men obsession and having the biggest girl crush on Christina Hendricks and the 1960's.  I even sent a text to some friends that know me best and asked them what they thought I might be passionate about, I got mostly texts back about diet coke, dirty jokes (i love my friends) and a lot of small, simple things...
I have come to realize I may never obsess over one thing to the point of insanity (although it seems so romantic) but I DO feel passion for many things all the time... I feel joy over daily experiences, the other night I rode the bus home late and it started to rain, when I got off the bus it was raining so hard I was completely drenched in seconds, I was listening to Laura Marling on my iphone and I ran home with the biggest smile, I didn't avoid the puddles and I didn't care how filthy the water was.  I loved that moment and I will never forget the way it felt to be running through the streets of New York by myself in the middle of warm rainstorm.

-art that I want to create
-finding brilliant colors in obscure places
-food... (that is an obvious one, I wake up thinking about what I will be eating that day)
-my family and watching my brother's children grow
-storms, watching them and being in them
-Tetris, I dream in Tetris all the time, I could play for ever
-pens, writing, drawing
-sculptures of hands
-small things, anything miniaturized makes me giddy inside
-photography... this one so many times over
-finding humor in unexpected times and places
-music and how it makes the most boring experiences unique


I am done.

oh, here is something I look forward too...
Someone to be passionate about...

I sneak took this after my friend decorated a door for Valentine's Day...
I LOVE this crap.


Leilani Bascom said...

I appreciate this rant :) I too have recently been questioning what I'm passionate about, finding that if I'm sad or upset and try to turn off those emotions, that my joy and passion also become numb. So it's tricky, allowing ourselves to feel all our emotions in their immensity, in order to allow that passion to come through. I love the simple sincerity of your personal discovery. And I've also been incredibly obsessed with Mad Men as of late :) All the best to you.

Anonymous said...

I know you are passionate about finding out who you are. Enjoy the journey
Love. Mom