Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My little thoughts make little splashes in my head

The best part of being self-employed is the freedom to just go...
It's a freedom that can be dangerous if one is not in the right state of mind.  It can be hard to be self-motivated, to spend the days in solitude, to worry if and how the bills will be payed, to fight slothfulness and discouragement.    I am still trying to find my balance.

I am 700 miles away from home and I am still at the "office".


I have been at the brothers for a few days now, I have to say the highlights have been with the kids, I understand sacrifice because of them, I understand why mothers give up careers because of them.  For the past while now I have been very cynical about marriage and children, I have viewed my friends as crazy and naive for have children etc... But my little bubble of self-centeredness has been softened because of them.  I have been sleeping on the top bunk in the kids room, I fall asleep to the noises of Oliver quietly sleep-talking to himself about chicken nuggets, nintendo and names of those he knows and the random suction from Abby's binki between snores.  I wake up to them calling my name over and over for me to wake up, and then the  banter between the two of them starts, Abby will boss Oliver around and Oliver will make  taunt Abby while she still behind crib bars.  Yesterday I was driving with Oliver and he randomly says, "Jessica, you are my friend".  That made my week.  Sometimes we have wars about who can say "I love you more", I let him win.  I love them because they are so pure and honest. 

1 comment:

Diana said...

I'm glad you are having so much fun